A few years ago, I would have never thought twice about slipping on jeans to go to town or even slacks for church. I didn’t even know that it mattered to anyone else, except maybe those of Amish or Mennonite beliefs. But here lately, it seems that the subject is being debated everywhere. Should we, or shouldn’t we, wear skirts?
A Little Background
I didn’t grow up being modest. Far from it. My parents were hippies of the seventies and growing up, I really didn’t have many restrictions placed on me. I remember getting a leather mini-skirt for Christmas my 7th grade year and I thought I was hot stuff. Most all of my clothing decisions were made based on whether I thought the clothes made me look good.
As I got older and gave my life over to Jesus, He began to work on my heart in this area. Slowly I began to see that I needed to be more modest, both in my actions and in my dress. And I did {do} dress modestly, according to my standards.
When my oldest daughter was 15, she began to only wear skirts. We were living in Spain at the time, and there just weren’t very many options for finding modest skirts for a 15 year old. At first she bought many of them at the thrift store on base, but you can imagine the modge podge she found.
I will be honest here and let you know that there were times that I wished she wouldn’t wear skirts. Many of them were hideous. But as I prayed about it, I realized that I was focusing on her looking stylish instead of focusing on her desire to be dressed modestly before the Lord. As she kept searching for more skirts, she slowly accumulated a handful of skirts that were both modest and flattering.
I have stood by and watched her grow both in her faith and in her convictions. It is not always easy for her, but she has made a commitment to the Lord and she continues to find ways to honor her commitment. For instance, it gets pretty cold here in Wichita, but she has prepared for this by making sure she has leggings to wear under her skirts or warm knitted socks on her feet.
So what about me? Where do I stand?
I have thought about wearing skirts very often. And my answer was always, “not yet.” I am not ready yet. I knew in my heart that it was a very conscious decision I was making. I was saying, “I am not ready to yield.” And here are the reasons I gave myself…
1) They are not comfortable.
I know many people say the opposite, but they just don’t feel comfy to me. I have sensory issues, and little things bother me. For instance, I don’t like feeling my legs touch each other, especially when I am walking.
2) They change up the way I do things.
I am not very graceful. I like to sit on the ground cross-legged. I like to sit in the rocker with my knees pulled up to my chest. I don’t like to think about sitting properly or getting in and out of the van without my skirt flying up.
3) I don’t want to look frumpy.
I know this doesn’t make sense. I don’t have any problem wearing sweats all day, but in my mind I associate skirts with someone who “has to” be home with her kids. Like Ma Kettle. When I ponder my deepest thoughts, I realize how much of the world is still in me. How much I still have that desire to look good and be a women of the world. I don’t want to be that way. I want to be a happy homemaker who is content being where God has me. I just haven’t arrived yet.
4) Wearing skirts is hard work.
First, I have to either buy or make myself more skirts. Then I have to plan ahead and make sure they are pressed. And shoes. I need to make sure that I have shoes to wear with the skirts.
5) I don’t want to submit.
I think this is the heart of the matter. I just don’t want to be told that I should do something. Shouldn’t I be able to wear what I want. After all, I don’t wear tight jeans or short shorts. Doesn’t God want me to be beautiful and comfortable and …well, me.
Does It Really Matter?
As I read through my list of “why’s” something really sticks out. Do you notice it? It reminds me of the old Toby Keith song, “I Wanna Talk About Me”. That’s right, I am so concerned about me. About my wants. About my desires.
The entire focus of the skirt issue is me.
I have read all the reasons that I should wear skirts. And I know them well. God doesn’t want me dress like a man. He wants me to dress modestly, distinctly feminine. And I have argued in my heart that I can do this while wearing what I want. And truthfully, I have seen women with a very meek and quiet spirit wearing pants.
I love the Lord greatly and I am a woman who wears pants.
{As I sit here and write this, I am reminded of a saying that was popular not so long ago. When a woman tried to usurp the authority of her husband, it was asked of her, “Who wears the pants in this family?” The one who wore the pants was the one in charge. Maybe that is why, deep in my heart, I want to wear pants. I want to be in charge. Hmmm, need to do some more heart examination.}
But I really feel like the Lord calls us to be sanctified–set apart. When non-believers see us, there shouldn’t be a question in their minds as to whether or not we are believers. Our outward adornment should portray someone who is meek and quiet, wholly feminine, completely submitted, clothed in righteousness.
And some might argue that a skirt doesn’t mean all these things. But I would argue that if those of us who are completely honest with ourselves would search deeeeep in our hearts, we would agree that wearing a modest skirt is more glorifying to the Lord than what we usually wear (at least most of the time, anyway).
So, Where Do I Go From Here?
I am not sure.
I know that is not the answer you were looking for. It’s not the answer I want to give. I would like to say that “from now on, I will only wear skirts!” I don’t think it would be an honest answer though. I am praying that the Lord would give me strength over my flesh. I am praying that He would give me a heart that desires to love Him more than my own desires. I am hoping that I can lay this all down at His feet and follow only Him.
In the meantime, I am preparing for obedience. What does that mean?
Right now, I couldn’t realistically wear skirts everyday. I simply do not own enough skirts to wear everyday of the week (unless I washed them every other day — again, not very realistic). So I am taking a class on designing and making your own skirts. I figured that if I made the skirts to my liking, there would be a greater chance that I would actually wear them.
I am also going to read through some some posts that will encourage my efforts. Amy at Raising Arrows has a series she wrote a while back (as in, back when my heart was saying I didn’t want to think about wearing skirts) called She Wears Skirts. She shares a ton of great information, tips, and really just a heart for helping other women who are going through–the change.
For the most part, I will be seeking the Lord and asking for grace in this area of my life. And for help in being obedient.
What about you? Anyone else going through–the change?
Why I Don’t Wear Skirts is a post from: Ponder the Path
As a thank you for subscribing to Ponder the Path, please enjoy a free copy of my e-book Simple Beauty: Easy Handmade Beauty Products!
